It's 6AM as I begin to write and I, as usual, have not slept yet. I've had too much coffee to do so and not nearly enough rest to write well. You have been warned.

My weekend was lovely, as always. Bars, rolling around, cute guy with a cute dog, finally getting my Nook to work, sudoku, skating, spending time with Nicole, cooking, flooding my kitchen. Today (or yesterday, in non-gamer days) was spent productively. I wrote, worked out, read, registered for this summer's social justice institute in Denver, and ordered a copy of my birth certificate.

There are things in my life right now that are overwhelming and complicated. Nothing is quite as simple or as easy as it seems these days. But it's kind of amazing. I feel more like myself than I have in years while still being the person I really want to be. It's always been one or the other for me. I am, of course, not thrilled with how things turned out with Dan but I am pleased that he has been so honest and mature during our rare instances of recent communication. We're both slightly bitter, which is healthy at this point, but we've done well not to lash out at each other. Him even more so now that he is aware I am serious with someone. That being said, I am looking forward to when we can move on to a real friendship rather than the inevitable limbo of forced, polite conversation.

I'm also very grateful to be with someone who understands how tricky the situation is. I certainly don't believe it to be anything that should be a cause for concern but I do, however, realize most people aren't too happy to know their significant other is speaking with their ex. Especially during the beginning of a relationship when insecurity is at it's peak.

I'm rambling so I'm now going to abruptly finish this post. Goodnight (in gamer nights).

Isn't it always the case that once you become unconcerned with dating you end up finding someone wonderful? My thoughts on being with someone were essentially "whatevs, mang" and suddenly there was an insomniac knocking on my door with a cute face and a trunk full of booze. Just another way my ability to not give a fuck has improved my life exponentially.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I'd like to tell the tale of my 21st birthday.

Our story begins around midnight on the 16th, marking the official start of my birthday. Mike (the object of my affections) and I went to a dive bar to celebrate. I got a Miller Lite and he got a Cape Codder (cough, masculine term for Cosmopolitan, cough) because I'm a bro and he's a delicate flower. A lovely stranger bought me a shot and told me how on her own 21st, a girl she didn't know bought her a shot and told her to "pay it forward". I promised I would do the same in the future. I had the pleasure of receiving a phone call from my beloved Katrina and talked to my brother for the first time outside of the internet. Afterwards, we came back to my place only to drink more in my kitchen/act utterly ridiculous.

The next day (in gamer days) was kicked off with copious amounts of sushi. Mike and Nicole ate their food like normal human beings while I went into Kirby mode and sucked down everything in front of me as quickly as possible. Including some of Nicole's fried rice because I'm a champ. When we finally arrived at the bar, my mom was already trashed. Like, grinding on her male companion trashed. Not that I'm complaining, as he was buying us drinks all evening and my mom bought me the ones he didn't. Once I was sufficiently inebriated, I proceeded to tell Nicole how much I freaking love her and Mike that he looked like a combination of Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake, and a stereotypical intellectual. If I was truly capable of feeling shame/embarrassment, I might be doing so right now. But I'm not.

Once the crowd thinned and Nicole had to leave for an overnight shift at work, we headed over to another bar called Brandy's. Brandy's is infinitely more white trash and therefore more fun. Tequila, vodka, and whiskey quickly brought me from drunk to mangled. The older "gentleman" next to us kept insisting Mike should take me up to dance no matter how many times I made it clear my only interest was in taking shots and getting shitfaced. To sum up our adventures at Brandy's in one sentence: We played one of the most horrible games of pool in history, fell like dominoes on the floor, and knocked over a stool in excitement.

My mom and her...guy friend left to do things I'd rather not have knowledge of so we stumbled to 7-11 so Mike could get cigarettes. The only part of that walk I remember vividly is being carried across a sidewalk river caused by sprinklers. Once Mike was sober enough to drive and I was drunk enough to want fast food we left for Checkers/home. I drunkenly confessed my adoration, ate way too much, worked out in an awkward/wobbly fashion, took more shots, and passed out.

My hangover the next day consisted of soup, Tina Fey, and general boyfriend awesomeness. Overall, it was the best birthday ever. The end.