Isn't it always the case that once you become unconcerned with dating you end up finding someone wonderful? My thoughts on being with someone were essentially "whatevs, mang" and suddenly there was an insomniac knocking on my door with a cute face and a trunk full of booze. Just another way my ability to not give a fuck has improved my life exponentially.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I'd like to tell the tale of my 21st birthday.

Our story begins around midnight on the 16th, marking the official start of my birthday. Mike (the object of my affections) and I went to a dive bar to celebrate. I got a Miller Lite and he got a Cape Codder (cough, masculine term for Cosmopolitan, cough) because I'm a bro and he's a delicate flower. A lovely stranger bought me a shot and told me how on her own 21st, a girl she didn't know bought her a shot and told her to "pay it forward". I promised I would do the same in the future. I had the pleasure of receiving a phone call from my beloved Katrina and talked to my brother for the first time outside of the internet. Afterwards, we came back to my place only to drink more in my kitchen/act utterly ridiculous.

The next day (in gamer days) was kicked off with copious amounts of sushi. Mike and Nicole ate their food like normal human beings while I went into Kirby mode and sucked down everything in front of me as quickly as possible. Including some of Nicole's fried rice because I'm a champ. When we finally arrived at the bar, my mom was already trashed. Like, grinding on her male companion trashed. Not that I'm complaining, as he was buying us drinks all evening and my mom bought me the ones he didn't. Once I was sufficiently inebriated, I proceeded to tell Nicole how much I freaking love her and Mike that he looked like a combination of Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake, and a stereotypical intellectual. If I was truly capable of feeling shame/embarrassment, I might be doing so right now. But I'm not.

Once the crowd thinned and Nicole had to leave for an overnight shift at work, we headed over to another bar called Brandy's. Brandy's is infinitely more white trash and therefore more fun. Tequila, vodka, and whiskey quickly brought me from drunk to mangled. The older "gentleman" next to us kept insisting Mike should take me up to dance no matter how many times I made it clear my only interest was in taking shots and getting shitfaced. To sum up our adventures at Brandy's in one sentence: We played one of the most horrible games of pool in history, fell like dominoes on the floor, and knocked over a stool in excitement.

My mom and her...guy friend left to do things I'd rather not have knowledge of so we stumbled to 7-11 so Mike could get cigarettes. The only part of that walk I remember vividly is being carried across a sidewalk river caused by sprinklers. Once Mike was sober enough to drive and I was drunk enough to want fast food we left for Checkers/home. I drunkenly confessed my adoration, ate way too much, worked out in an awkward/wobbly fashion, took more shots, and passed out.

My hangover the next day consisted of soup, Tina Fey, and general boyfriend awesomeness. Overall, it was the best birthday ever. The end.