3 Wishes (a short story)

Humans had become very distrustful, it seemed.

A centuries-old genie was presenting three humans with, what he thought, was an amazing opportunity. During an amateur fossil hunt, they had stumbled upon his lamp and while cleaning their find, evoked the jinn.

"Purely on accident," they insisted "so sorry to have woken you."

The genie was used to humans being demanding and ungrateful so he found the courtesy shown to be a pleasant surprise. He assured them it was no problem at all, he'd been eager to stretch his legs for some time now,and happily offered his services to what appeared to be a group of very nice people.

"As you may already know from lore, I am able to grant three wishes. Unfortunately, I may only grant three at a time so you will have to split the wishes amongst yourselves. One wish per individual is still not so bad, though!" He cheerily exclaimed, not without hope that this group would be the ones to finally use one of their wishes to free him from his servitude.

Instead, they had responded with suspicion.

"Where are the loopholes?" One middle-aged man wearing too-large spectacles and freshly-pressed khakis asked.

"Loopholes?"

"Yes, you know, loopholes. For example, if I wish for immortality will I be condemning myself?"

"What? Condemning yourself? I don't think I underst-"

"If I choose immortality, I will have to watch the ones I love wither away, yes? Suppose I am able to wish for my own immortality as well as that of another! Would this be possible?"

"Ah! But who would you choose?" The other man interjected before the genie could respond. He was a stout man of about the same age, perhaps a few years older, with a thick, gray mustache. "Even if you chose someone you think you truly love now, whose to say you won't tire of them in time? My goodness, Elizabeth and I have only been together for 20 years and she already drives me crazy!" He nearly yelled with mirth.

The genie opened his mouth to speak when the other human, a woman in her mid-to-late thirties with wild, dirty blonde hair spoke.

"While all that may be true, you would have a million lifetimes of new love to compensate for it! What a romantic possibility!"

"Indeed it is! But there are other factors involved here. Tell me, genie, if I am to become immortal and there is a horrible disaster that leads to the end of Earth as we know it, what happens to me then?"

"I cannot grant immortality" The magical being said, relieved to finally having gotten a word in. "I technically could, but I would not on sheer principle. Anyone wishing for immortality would be forced to take my place inside the lamp. If I were the selfish sort I may want someone to do so that I may be released from my prison, but my hopes are that one day someone, out of the kindness of their own heart, will wish to-"

"Ah, that is quite the loophole! Well, what are our other options then? I suppose we may wish for wealth or beauty but even then..."

It was at this point the jinn stopped listening. They obviously had no interest in what he had to say and all kindness they had shown seemed to have been stemmed from a false sense of etiquette. The three discussed their ideas in excited tones, pointing out the specifics that could go horribly wrong in each scenario. As they did so, the genie amused himself by drawing figures in the dirt with a stick he had found. About an hour passed and he had completed a fairly detailed portrait of his late wife when they called for him.

"Oh, Genie! Yoohoo! We've made our decision."

Although he had realized his chances were slim, his ears perked up at the prospect of being freed.

"Yes! What may I do for you, my masters?"

"We would each like to order a nice lunch, please. I would like a chipotle chicken club on wheat, light mayo and easy on the tomato. Oh, and just a sparkling water with lemon to drink."

The genie stared expressionlessly at the bespectacled man. He had been forced to do many thing during his stay in the lamp, but play waiter was not one of them.

The frizzy-haired woman must have taken his silence for patience and began her own order.

"I would just love a veggie wrap with avocado ranch and a diet soda...oh, you know what? I've been good, I think I'll splurge a little! Give me a regular soda." She smiled with self-satisfaction at her choice and made a hand motion towards her portly companion.

"Well, let's see here...I'm not really all that hungry at the moment," He trailed off while stroking his facial hair, "so I suppose I'll just have bruschetta and a sweet tea."

After another period of silence the genie finally spoke.

"You want...lunch?"

"Yes, I thought we made that clear. Would you like us to repeat our orders?"

"No, I just-"

"Oh! And nothing of this meal must be harmful to anyone at all! This means nothing we are allergic to and nothing poisonous."

"What? Of course! I would never-"

"A table to eat on would be lovely, as well. If it's not too much to ask, of course."

"And chairs! Don't forget chairs!"

"Ah yes! Chairs! Also, if you could make my sandwich with free-range chicken, that would be great."

The genie, too much in shock to do anything else, summoned their meals on a decent-enough looking dining table and took his leave back into his lamp. The meal was indeed, very good. Not the best they had ever had, but they all agreed it was much better than the little Italian place they sometimes spent their lunch breaks at. They all felt very pleased with the fact that they had managed to avoid an unfortunate fate based on a technicality and toasted their drinks to their own wit. Their delight, however, was ended abruptly when they remembered they had been horribly lost in the desert for about 3 hours and no one had thought to wish for a map.




Note: I rarely write fiction, so go easy on me.